I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
