The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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