So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im six kinds of drunk right now
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
tell me about the eggs
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
