I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Of course I have a pirate flag
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
