obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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