I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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