I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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