hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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