Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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