Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
