Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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