happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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