We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
