just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
