Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
