one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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