This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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