on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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