so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This gyro tastes like lonliness
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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