Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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