i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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