What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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