that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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