Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize