Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
