im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
