So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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