I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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