im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
