We're facebook friends in real life
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
