Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
