yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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