Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
