i don't like sucking hair
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
