i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
