I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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