I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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