one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
