i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
