Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Randomize
