i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
