new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
