"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
