Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
The police scanner is talking about you again....
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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