yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Randomize
