I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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