Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
from now on my penis is your penis
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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