dude i'm inner monologue high
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
