forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
