Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
