you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So much rum. So many feels.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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