shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
