sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Randomize
