just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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