Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
