I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
