wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize