If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
