just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i think my mom watched the whole time
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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