Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
