So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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